There are many age milestones in a person's life. Each of those milestones comes with a set of feelings, and for each person those feelings can be different. For many, turning 30 is the first time some people start to feel "old." This can also be a time where people compare themselves to others, or compare themselves against a list of things they thought they'd have accomplished by the time they turn 30. There's no normal or expected way to feel. Today is my 30th birthday, so I thought it would be fun to document how I'm feeling about it!

I'm freaking excited about turning 30 today! It helps that I'm currently vacationing in Vancouver with my family, but either way, this is a milestone I've been embracing. Here's why. 

Every year of my life gets better and better.

I could ramble off all the experiences I've had, but just take my word for it- it's been a good 30 years. I love where I'm at and where I'm headed. I have no regrets and I wouldn't change a thing.

I won't lie to you though. For a split second, a few months back, I let myself get down about a few things I still don't have sorted out. Let me explain.

Most of my life I've had a rough idea of the things I want to accomplish by the time I'm 30. Some of those things were based on what society was telling me, and some of those things I really wanted for myself. However, as I started to near 30 years old, I realized there needed to be a shift in the timeline, and in reality, I needed to toss all expectations out the window. For the most part, I have little control over my life. Day-to-day decisions are in my control, but I have no idea how the web of those decisions impact the big picture. The frustrating and beautiful thing about that is, I'm not supposed to see the big picture. That's not my job. I only need to know and accept where I am today.

Below are three things I thought I would have figured out at 30, but I don't - and that's ok.

1. When I'm going to have kids. 

People ask me all the time when Shay and I are going to have kids. This question doesn't bother me at all, as long as it's asked in a loving, non-critical way. All I can do is say where I'm at right now and when I think we might have kids. That's not a real timeline. I have no idea when we will be ready or when it will be our time. And for all of those "you'll never be ready" people, I understand where that saying comes from. But trust me, we're not ready yet. We don't have a plan, and I'm ok with that.

2. What I want to do with my life.

I don’t exactly know what kind of work I want to do for the rest of my life. I’m part engineer - part photographer/blogger. I started my photography business a year ago. By comparison, I’m failing. When looking at my year-end earnings, I’m failing. However, I’m really proud of how far I’ve come over the last year. I have no idea if at some point I'll work part-time as an engineer (if that's even a thing), or if I'll be a stay at home mom, or if photography will always be in the picture (pun intended). All I know is the gifts I've been given are for a purpose. I'm going to continue to use them and see where it leads me.

3. Where I want to live. 

For as long as I can remember I've wanted to live in the Chicago area. Even during the four years I was living in Arizona, I couldn't wait to come back home. However, since moving back, half of my immediate family has left the state of IL, and none of Shay's family lives here. It's no longer clear to me where we should settle and put down roots. We absolutely love our little Chicago condo and the neighborhood we live in, but we know there's an expiration date on it. We don't know where we'll end up. To be honest, the cold weather has been getting to us. We dream of one-day relocating someplace a bit warmer, and owning a single family home with a little front porch and a backyard. 

These are just three things I'm uncertain of at the age of 30. This doesn't discredit the things I am certain of, like: my faith, who I am as a person, and my love for my husband, family, and friends.

I'm also certain that I'm going to drink some excellent wine tonight, and have an amazing meal with my family in the beautiful City of Vancouver. I can't wait to share about this adventure with you when we return!

Happy Birthday to Me!