Marla's Birth Story
I intended to write Marla’s birth story soon after she came into this world. I know how easy it is to forget every little detail and just focus on the fact that “She’s here!”
But I must have replayed her story enough, that the flow of events and timestamps are still fresh in my mind. Nearly four months later, and I can still recall how wild and beautiful her birth was - and I’m excited to share it!
The Birth Plan
Before I get into the timeline, I want to share a little bit about our prenatal care and birthing preferences.
If you know anything about Jude’s story, he was born quickly. I was induced at the hospital with high blood pressure, but it was clear he was ready. Once we gave him a little push, things escalated quickly.
When I got pregnant again, I had this deep intuition that this baby would come even faster. I had a feeling that if I went into labor and tried to rush to the hospital, I might not make it. I’d be one of those wild stories of a woman giving birth in the car on the side of the road, or in the parking lot, or in the lobby of the hospital…
And my intuition was right. That would have been my story.
Praise God for intuitions (and the Holy Spirit)... because those feelings led us to explore, research, and ultimately choose having this baby at home!
Through the guidance of my primary care provider and my doula, we chose to work with a midwifery practice that specializes in home birth. We worked with Nova Birth Services - who I highly recommend if you’re in the Nashville area!
I remember making this decision and feeling a huge sigh of relief. Below are the top three reasons I wanted to have a home birth:
I wouldn’t need to rush to the hospital. My (small) team would come to me. I could just rest/relax and let this baby come how she wanted.
I would be in the comfort of my own home. No hospital gown, no IV, no machines beeping, no limit of movement, and no one unnecessarily checking on me or interrupting my flow.
Jude’s life would be fairly uninterrupted. We wouldn’t need to rush him off somewhere or drag anyone in at some odd hour to watch him.
Afterwards, I realized three additional “perks”… things that made me feel safe, comfortable, and cared for:
After birth, I could truly rest. No switching rooms and no one coming in/out at odd times to massage my belly or make me get up and pee (I did these things on my own, as needed).
When I was ready, I could shower in my own shower and then rest in my own bed - with my husband next to me!
I could eat my own food, when I wanted. Shout out to my dad who is an incredible cook! I would “text the kitchen” and then delicious, healthy, home-cooked, postpartum-friendly meals would come to my room.
These things might not be important to some people, and that’s ok. But I can confidently say this was the best decision for our family!
We made this decision knowing we don’t actually have control over when or how our baby would come into this world. However, moving forward with the “plan” to have our baby at home felt really freeing to me. And that’s what it was - a plan. Of course plans go sideways sometimes, and if that were to happen, we were only 10 minutes away from a hospital. I also could have spontaneously birthed her in a parking lot somewhere, and that would have been ok too. I went into this with a lot of trust in myself, my body, and God - that this would play out exactly as it was supposed to. And it did.
Date Night
My parents arrived on a Sunday, and our baby was born on a Thursday. They came a couple of days before her “due date” to settle in, grocery shop, help with Jude, and give us one more date night before becoming a family of four.
Shay and I decided to go to Noko, a popular Asian restaurant in our neighborhood. It was an epic last night out. I broke all the rules - we ate sushi and I had a glass of wine. While enjoying our last night of “freedom” for a while… we noticed a famous country singer walk in. How very “Nashville” of us… to be dining next to Lainey Wilson - the Entertainer of the Year!
I only share this part of the story, because we were there past 9 PM - living it up… having no idea that in about 3 hours our lives were about to change.
The Birthing Timeline
We got home from dinner and proceeded to text all of our friends about our experience at Noko. We went to bed laughing and stayed up way later than normal. I think we turned the lights off around 10:30 PM. I definitely drifted off for a bit, and then…
12:15 AM - My water broke while sleeping.
Once we stripped the bed and I changed into fresh clothes, we called my midwife. She suggested I try to go back to sleep, rest, and begin timing my contractions as they wake me up. She told me to call her back when they were consistently 5 minutes apart and lasting for 1-2 minutes.
At the same time, I texted my doula, Jessica:
12:30 AM - Once we knew the plan, I laid on my left side and tried to rest. After about 30 minutes I felt like the contractions were happening frequently enough that I should start timing them. I used the App “Full Term” (which is where I pulled my data from for this story).
12:56 AM - I timed my first contraction.
It lasted 1:32 minutes. The next one was 1:21 minutes long and they were 9:41 minutes apart. The contractions were intense right away, but spaced far enough apart that I could recover between them.
For the first 30 minutes contractions averaged 8:12 minutes apart.
For the next 45 minutes contractions averaged 12:26 minutes apart.
2:20 AM - I thought to myself “we have plenty of time”. We weren’t even close to the contractions being 5 minutes apart.
For the next 30 minutes contractions averaged 8:44 minutes apart. Every contraction lasted 1-2 minutes, they were intense, but the time to rest in between was enough. I mostly laid on my left side and held a fine tooth comb to help with pain management.
3:00 AM - This is where things got a little weird.
My contractions were all over the place, having no consistency, and showing no natural “progression”...
6:29 minutes apart
10:21 minutes apart
7:05 minutes apart
11:03 minutes apart
3:40 AM - Then, I had my first MAJOR contraction lasting over 2 minutes at 3:58 minutes apart.
This one was an a$$-kicker. I remember gripping the comb the entire time, and then letting my body melt into the bed when it was over. I’m not going to lie, this was the moment I started to get into my head a little bit… thinking “I can’t do this… this is too hard…” but by God’s grace, He gave me a long break, and I was able to recover for 12:26 minutes.
In hindsight I probably should have called my midwife, but she said to call her when contractions were “consistently” 5 minutes apart or less. This was my first contraction under 5 minutes apart, so instead we decided to call my doula, Jessica.
At this point, I knew she was likely sleeping and hadn’t seen my text message. I figured we needed to (1) bring her into the loop and (2) discuss some more tips on pain management.
3:54 AM - While on the phone with Jessica, I had another contraction at 5:05 minutes apart.
She decided to come over based on how I sounded. She had to feed her baby, pack up, and then was about a 30 minute drive away… ETA was about an hour. We all thought “No problem!”… because the next contraction was 8:38 minutes apart (again, no real progression, things were very inconsistent).
Over the next 30 minutes my contractions were averaging 8:56 minutes apart. I still didn’t feel the need to call my midwife to come. However, this felt like a good time for Shay to start blowing up the pool and preparing it for birth.
4:26 AM - Then, Another intense contraction hit: 2:05 minutes apart…
Over a span of 20 minutes I proceeded to get my a$$ kicked.
5:27 minutes apart
2:58 minutes apart
2:19 minutes apart
3:03 minutes apart
2:29 minutes apart
3:02 minutes apart
During this time I remember yelling at Shay to STOP preparing the pool and to just be with me. I looked at him and said, “I’m not getting in that thing… there’s no time… this baby is coming.”
4:45 - In a panic Shay, called our midwife.
He read through the timings over the last 20 minutes and she scrambled and started to head over. She was about 30 minutes away.
We were all in complete shock. My contractions went from averaging 8-9 minutes apart to averaging THREE MINUTES APART. The jump happened so rapidly. It was not a slow progression like I had anticipated.
I stopped timing contractions. There was no point anymore. She was well on her way.
Shay and I came to the realization that we might be “free birthing” this baby alone… that my doula and midwife might not make it in time. Knowing my mom was upstairs sleeping, we debated going to get her (she’s a retired nurse and could have helped us if we really needed it).
But Shay got a text from my doula saying she was 10 minutes away. He looked at me and said, “Can you wait that long?” … And somehow I did… even though contractions were happening one on top of the other and I could feel our baby descending. The only way to describe this moment is it felt like our baby was a freight train barreling down the tracks… a train that could not be stopped.
4:58 AM - My doula arrived.
I had truly never been happier or more relieved to see someone. Someone who could deliver my baby if need be. I was on the toilet, the only place I felt comfortable.
5:05 AM - My doula called my midwife.
My midwife was en-route, and we had her on speaker phone.
Shay and my doula helped me move to the bed to start pushing.
The actual act of pushing at this point was so natural. It wasn’t something I had to think about… in fact, I didn’t have a choice.
I remember pushing for several minutes and then feeling a long pause… like time stood still for a moment. A moment to rest and take a big breath. And then…
5:19 AM - Marla’s head was born.
At that exact moment my midwife ran into the room, dropped her things, threw on gloves JUST in time to deliver the rest of her body.
5:20 AM - Marla was born!
In summary:
From the time my water broke until birth… 5 hours
From the time my contractions were 3 minutes apart to birth… 54 minutes*
Actual pushing time… 15 minutes
*note: when my contractions dropped from 8-9 minutes apart to 3 minutes apart… I had less than an hour until Marla was born. This would not have been enough time to grab my things, run down the stairs, get in the car, drive to the hospital, be admitted to the hospital, and make it to a labor and delivery room. *thank God for intuitions*
Her Name Explained
Naming our girl was more challenging than Shay and I expected. We went back and forth for months, leaning on baby naming apps, digging through scripture, and even consulting ChatGPT.
We finally settled on a name by thumbing through an old 1950's baby name book. It was my grandmother's, who passed it down to my mom, who then passed it down to me.
Shay went through all 1,000 girl names. As he read one he liked, I wrote it down and looked up the meaning. Once we looked up the meaning of Marla, I knew this was the one!
Marla - meaning "woman of Magdala”, beloved, exalted
Saint: Mary of Magdala (also known as Mary Magdalene) was a follower of Jesus. Aside from Jesus' mother, she is mentioned more than any other woman in the Gospels. She stayed at the cross as Jesus was being crucified, was present at his burial, and didn’t deny him or run in fear as many others did.
Apostle: Known as the "Apostle of the Apostles". She was the first to show up at the empty tomb and witness Jesus Christ’s Resurrection. Christ appeared to her first, gave her special instructions, and commissioned her to be the one to announce the good news!
Author: In the year 325, the final canon was established (the Bible as we know it). Religious leaders set out to destroy all writings not included in the canon, but Monks hid several of these sacred texts and buried them in urns deep in a cave in Egypt - which were only recently discovered in 1896. One of them was the Gospel of Mary Magdalene! Like many of Jesus’ followers, she knew her experience with following Jesus should be documented - which was a big to-do for a woman in the 1st century.
Before naming our girl Marla, I had already set aside a painting of Mary Magdalene to hang in her nursery! (How wild is that?)
Her middle name “Ann” is the middle name I was given at birth, which means gracious & merciful. It's also my mother's and Shay's grandmother's middle name.
I hope you enjoyed reading about Marla’s birth story! During both of my pregnancies I loved reading/hearing about other people’s stories. There are several people who (without knowing) encouraged and inspired me to explore home birth. Stories can be powerful. I can only hope mine might help empower someone else.