What My 3 Month Sabbatical Taught Me
Wat Phnom, Buddhist Temple - Cambodia
It always surprises me how at the age of 18 we’re expected to know what we want to do for a living. This may not be true for everyone, but it’s true in the world of engineering. My degree doesn’t leave me much wiggle room.
I graduated college in the 2009 recession, and said yes to the first company willing to hire me. I worked, got raises, studied for my licensing exam and failed, then a few years later I passed - which truly felt like my career peaked. I occasionally got promoted and moved jobs, all while climbing the corporate ladder and being asked at every “review” what my 5-10 year plan is.
To think I have any say in where I’m headed seems like the biggest illusion. Most of the time it feels like we’re all just being herded around like cattle - inching our way toward the next promotion, the next stepping stone, and ultimately retirement.
Am I depressing you yet? Please bear with me.
Feeling like my soul was slowly dying, I went on my first EMI trip to Honduras in 2016. For 10 days I was able to break away from the corporate mold to volunteer with like-minded design professionals from all over the world. Two years later, in 2018, I went on my second EMI trip to Guatemala. Both experiences breathed new life into me and gave me a fresh perspective on my job and why I do what I do.
Those experiences always remind me it doesn’t matter what I do for a living… What matters most is stewarding my time, skills, and resources to create the most impact in order to serve God and others well. I believe this is the whole point of work.
It seems every two years I need to step away from my day-to-day job to be reminded of this. 2020 was supposed to be more than a 10 day project trip. But ironically, what started out as a 3 month volunteer assignment in Cambodia, ultimately ended up being just 2 short weeks because of COVID-19.
Back in January I had a Skype conversation with my soon-to-be Cambodia roomie. She asked what I was looking forward to about my 3 month sabbatical, and asked what would make it unforgettable. I journaled through this question prior to getting on the call, and only looked back at my notes as I was writing this blog. In no particular order, here’s a brief summary of what I wrote:
Fully intertwining my faith and work
Serving, training, mentoring
Stepping away from detailed engineering design
Surrounding myself with people who look different than me, and practice their faith different than me
Slowing down my life
Removing distractions
Allowing suppressed thoughts to surface, and processing them
Chipping away at unhealthy habits, and fostering healthy ones
Growing in my relationship with God
Knowing and trusting the process and holding it with open hands
I was initially heartbroken with abruptly leaving Cambodia, but it’s oddly comforting reading through my journal entry from January. While I wasn’t physically in any of the places I thought I’d be, I still saw the majority of this list come to fruition.
Ultimately this sabbatical has helped me get really clear about what I want in life.
I feel more confident in my decisions, and have a much clearer understanding of what I should say “yes” and “no” to. Oddly enough, the early stages of this newfound clarity came on day one of my sabbatical.
I arrived in Cambodia on a Saturday afternoon. That night, I stayed up as late as I could, but woke up at 4 AM on Sunday morning. I stayed awake and spent hours working through a vision exercise where I journaled and prayed about what the next 10 years of my life might look like. This was all outlined in a journal my sister-in-law bought me for Christmas. So as not to violate copyright infringement laws, I encourage you to buy your own journal. However, I’m going to summarize the activity below in my own words, and add in a few of my own caveats.
First, imagine 10 years have gone by.
What has happened in those 10 years? How old are you? What are you doing? Where do you live? Who are you surrounded by? What kind of person are you? What does your typical day look like? What does your free time look like? Don’t overthink it, just write. Be really specific, and paint a picture for yourself of what life looks like a decade from now.
Second, bullet point the key ideas / dreams / truths from the above description.
Write them as if they are true right now, as if they’ve already happened. (Apparently there’s a psychological benefit here, just go with it.) For example, if you envisioned owning your own business in 10 years, then you need to write “I am a business owner.”
Third, narrow down the above list to just 10 bullet points.
These 10 truths mean the most to you. Some of these may seem simple. For example, one of mine is “I am a loving and supportive wife.” Whereas others are a little more “out there”. Remember, we’re claiming truths about ourselves 10 years into the future. Some of this hasn’t happened yet. If a bullet point seems a little crazy, claim it, own it, it’s yours. No one else needs to see this.
Fourth, pick ONE truth to focus on right now.
Ideally this is something you can focus on for a few months or longer. This is where most of your energy will go. The idea here is we can’t “focus” on 10 things - we can only really focus on one.
“This amazing thing happens when you start to grow in one area of your life: other areas improve right along with it. If you drop a handful of pebbles into a lake, you’ll move the water around a bit. If you drop a boulder into a lake - meaning, if you put all your energy into one area - the impact is incredible. The ripple effects of that choice spread out in all directions.” - Rachel Hollis (Start Today Journal)
Lastly, spend a few minutes every morning and do the following:
Write 5 things you’re grateful for
Write out your 10 truths (as if they’ve already happened)
Write the ONE truth you’re focusing on in this season (and maybe add some notes to support it)
I want to be really clear. To me - this is not a 10 year plan. I do not believe in 5 or 10 year plans. Rather than looking at this as a list of goals, I look at it as a list of truths about who I am and who I hope I am becoming. I believe if the exercise is done well, it provides potential vision from God about what the next decade might look like, which in turn helps guide decision making.
We know decisions are important because each one carries a consequence. Decisions shape our lives. But what we often overlook is not only how our choices shape outcomes but how they shape us too. They reveal our character and help to create our character. - Emily P. Freeman (The Next Right Thing)
I’ve been doing this almost every day since March. I plan to circle back frequently to see what has changed or needs to be adjusted based on where the Spirit is leading me, which seems to subtly change over time.
I won’t share all of my 10 truths, because some of them are really personal. Interestingly, some of my initial hopes for my sabbatical shaped some of the hopes for my whole life. One of my 10 truths, the ONE I’ve been focusing on in this season, is “I am a writer.”
Focusing on “I am a writer” has helped me take small steps each day to support this truth.
Overall my list has been serving as a filter. Lately, when I’m faced with a choice, I can ask myself, “Does ____ help me get closer to or further away from anything on this list?” Sometimes it applies, and sometimes it doesn’t, but just in the last few months it’s helped me say “yes” and “no” to a few big things.
Since going back to work, I’ve been really clear about the kind of work I want and do not want to do. I’ve also cut my hours back to 32 a week, specifically so I would have more time and energy to write - which I’m thrilled about!
I had hoped by the end of my sabbatical I'd be different, and I’d have some kind of direction about what’s next. While this time away did change me for the better, it actually revealed who I want to be - which was there all along. I needed that time to remove distractions, create space, get quiet, and listen - which is really hard to do in the constant swirl of the corporate world. This sabbatical helped me take a step back in order to take more intentional steps forward - rather than coasting and moving along with the status quo.
I likely won’t be taking a sabbatical for another 10 years, which is why I’m realizing how important it is to consistently “get away”.
Weekly - I practice Sunday Sabbath
Quarterly - Shay and I get away for a long weekend
Annually - We *try to* get away for 7-10 days
Shay and I rarely opt for the longer getaways, but when we do we notice a huge difference. We both tend to come home well rested and with more clarity. Actually committing to do this yearly is another thing I’d like to change moving forward. So even if you’ve read through this whole blog post and thought, “Well, that all sounds nice, but I cannot afford to take a sabbatical.” Hopefully you can find time and space in your calendar for 8 days away - which is apparently the magic number according to science.